When does a home stop being a home? And more specifically, when does it stop being yours?
Is it when the planning to move starts? Is it when the first boxes are packed? How about when the bed is taken away and you are left to sleep on an air mattress? Maybe when the pictures are all taken off the wall?
Editor’s note: this is being published several days after it was written. But the feels are still the same.
No matter when that moment happens, it is bitter sweet. You put all your effort into converting some empty spaces into your own safe haven in this world. Everything is just so, to make it the most comfortable place anywhere just for you and your loved ones. So when it stops being that place, it is impossible not to feel sad and a little adrift.
To me, that just happened for the first time as an adult. Sure, my parents moved from my childhood home when I was in college and that was sad because of all the memories and growing I did there. But, this is different. This was the first place my wife and I made our own. We didn’t own the property we lived in, but the space was ours. And we loved it. And it fit our style quite well (most thanks to her eye and my ability to not break things most of the time).
Now though, it is eroding back to its natural empty state. All our belongings are sectioned off. There is a collection of things going in our car. There was a collection of things being picked up by her parents. And the rest is stuff that the moving company is going to pack and load for us. Everything else is empty and lifeless.
But, from this we are going to build a new place that will be a our own. We won’t be constructing a new dwelling in a literal sense, just shaping an existing one to our desires. Just this time that space will be on the west coast in the beautiful San Francisco Bay Area. We are unbelievably excited about this opportunity and adventure. Yet, also we are sad to leave our group of close friends that have made Chicago so amazing. We love all of them in different ways (except for this one person, but he knows who he is 😉 ).
I hope that this new space will be as lively and unique as our last, but we are on a good start because we have each other, Squeezy Buffs, and Little Buffs. And with all that we cannot fail.